Sms Jokes Search Results

News: Winner Winner

This contest can be the ultimate prank on a fan- or another one can be created. Upon winning, the first day of the "prize" can start with a flight on a crappy airline with 2 long layovers. (one can be a hopper flight with a pilot that appears intoxicated) Once arriving in LA, the winner should be met by a driver waiting to take them to their hotel in a beat up old limo. (having them sign a waiver to be filmed first of course) The driver should stop on the way at a drive thru and tell the winn...

How To: Undo her bra with only one hand

This humorous instructional video demonstrates how to undo a bra with only one hand. It begins by stating all the things you do right to make a date a positive experience. This includes giving flowers, going to see a romantic comedy, listening more than you talk, telling tasteful jokes, and using proper hygiene. You will need a few things. First a willing partner, a bra holding breasts, dexterous fingers, nerves of steel, and an adventurous spirit. Second, know your enemy - the bra. Make sure...

News: Wake Up! Anti Sleep Pilot for iPhone Helps Curb Tiredness Behind the Wheel

Always falling asleep behind the wheel? The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates that there are over 56,000 sleep-related accidents each year, resulting in 40,000 injuries and 1,550 deaths annually in the United States. Don't want to be a statistic? Then you may want to try out ASP Technology's mobile application which aims to keep you awake when you're fatigued on the road.

News: OMG. Surf then touch a Bigass Whale at Westwards

This one smells like a fish story.  It is not.  Tuesday April 13, Dave and I got up to surf westward at 7 in the morning.  First rate waves.  Headache cold water....sun blocked by the cliffs.  Fast, clean, beach break.  3-4 foot sets, mostly lefts.  About 15 dolphins swam by.  Blase blase.  We always see dolphins.  But then some bigass whale with barnacles breaches.  We are speechless.  It is about 20 feet from us. We follow it for about thirty seconds and pinch ourselves.  Have-you-ever?  No...

News: Indie Developer Fights Pirates with Piracy

No Time To Explain is the first game by two man indie developer tiny Build Games. It's a fun and very stylish platformer in it's own right, available for $10 from the tiny Build website. Articles about the game on RockPaperShotgun, Destructoid, and other prominent PC sites helped it develop substantial hype and raise more than $26,000 via Kickstarter to fund development.

News: Water, Chocolate and, Tequila Shortage

Source: http://www.cracked.com/article_19048_6-important-things-you-didnt-know-were-running-out-of.htmlIf all news are absolutely true, then we are in deeper trouble than we previously thought. Read full articles by clicking on the link above. I know this is a bit late but the thought takes time to sink in and it makes me shudder at the thought.Source: http://holykaw.alltop.com/brace-yourselves-for-possible-chocolate-short

News: The Internet as a Map

Probably one of the coolest things I have seen on the net. That crazy guy at xkcd have made a visual map representation of the internet based on user activity. Click on the picture for a a better look because this map is huge!

News: The Root Beer Hack Circle Caper

Okay, here we go. Here is the deal. Bam, Knoxville, Dunn, Steve-O, Party Boy, Jeff Tremaine, and myself are dressed in old man faces, but wearing tshirts that say "Beer is Good" and wearing diapers. (Substitute speedos for diapers if you want). We are gathered around Jack Nicholson's Walk of Fame star. The "Nicholson" is covered up by a taped "Ass" to make his star to say "Jack Ass". Because it is his star, it is only fair Jack Nicholson is with us too, also sporting the "Beer is Good" tshirt...

News: The $2,400 Video Card

For $2400 this thing might as well be covered in diamonds and friend chicken. Looking to blow a month or two of rent on something less responsible? Sure, rent might put a roof over your head but it never gave you 49.99 frames per second on Crysis.

News: $26 Buys a Mouthful of Her Breast Milk!

So, apparently in our modernistic approach for child rearing "authenticity", it turns out there is a market for human breast milk. However, for a mother seeking the best for her child, it is impossible to know whether artificial milk or unidentified breast milk is healthier. The FDA certainly does not have the time or funds to step in.

L4D2: The Riverbank and the Wedding Witch

The Passing takes place before Dark Carnival in L4D2, right after Dead Center. The chapter starts with random chatter between characters of part 1 and 2. You'll see either Francis or Zoey on the bridge, but they don't always say the same thing. Zoey! We miss your slow witted jokes! The game uses the aging Source engine, modified throughout the years with new effects to keep it current. Outdoor scenes look great but indoor scenes suffer.

News: Get Out of Farmville! Dr. Phil Treats an Addict

Facebook games have become a worldwide, web-wide addiction. Just take a look at all the tutorials on WonderHowTo alone. For most of us it's just fun and games (literally), but some have an addiction that merits the attention of the (perhaps officious) Dr. Phil. In a recent episode, Trends for 2010: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Dr. Phil takes on a mother with a serious Farmville addiction.

How To: Change Your iPhone's Name with Just a Couple Clicks

Your iPhone's name matters more than you might think. It shows up when AirDropping files to other Apple devices, when keeping tabs on your devices' locations via Find My, and when syncing with your computer. While "Jake Peterson's iPhone" gets the job done, I'd rather give the phone I spend all my time with a proper name.

News: Cancer Patient Beg-Off

Have someone shave all the hair on their head, but make sure to do it badly. Intentionally miss patches of hair on the eyebrows and head, and make sure to try to get some razorburn for that obviously-just-shaved look. You could also use an electric hair trimmer to leave a little bit of hair and make it even more obvious. Leave the hair on your arms or wherever else as if you forgot to shave it. The point is to be completely unconvincing.

News: NASA to Bomb the Moon (For Real)

No joke. This is not an Onion headline. This coming Friday, October 9th, NASA is actually planning on bombing the moon in search for water. The missile, a Centaur rocket, will blast off from Cape Canaveral, Florida, aiming at the moon's South Pole. Scientists will then analyze the debris from the explosion for traces of water ice or vapor.

News: Train a cat like Pavlov's dog

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be really good. Jack Nicholson was appealingly disturbed in As Good as it Gets. I bought a script about an intriguing OCD detective named Monk. His OCD made him magnetic and brilliant. Well, this next tutorial takes the cake. HowTo teach your cat to use a light switch.

News: Make a wallet out of tape

Happy new year. But I am not that happy. I am feeling kind of blue. A holiday post partum. I just ate a great deal of food, and I am feeling lazy. It is cold outside. Nothing much on TV. I am waiting for the big playoff games. What can I do right now. My moment. Right now.

News: Gathering Data for Fun and Profit

Oh Data, You so Awesome! We are going to use Node.JS to gather us some data. Given nodes plethora of well abstracted network abilities and it's deep evened nature, it will make quick work of plugging into various data sources and gathering / making good use of said data.

How To: Teaching Nerds How NOT to Love with Silver Dollar Games

I am the sort of man whom game companies fall all over themselves to seduce. I'm sweaty, pale, awkward, and spend too much money on video games. There are many of us, especially among XBox 360 owners. We are the most stereotypically "gamer" group of console owners. The XBox 360 doesn't have motion control like the Wii or a blu-ray player like the Playstation 3. It just plays games really well. That's why hardcore gamers like me prefer it amongst all the consoles, and probably why Silver Dolla...

News: The Revolution of the Hacked Kinect, Part 3: Gaming Gets Artsy

Video games and art have somewhat of a sticky relationship. Many video games have large teams of talented artists doing amazingly creative work, and yet the art community is only just beginning to utilize video games as art (sometimes). Perhaps if video games were shown not just as a medium of expression, but as a means of creating great art as well, the art community would be forced to consider it differently. The third part in the Hacked Kinect series will focus on the artistic possibilitie...

How To: Earn Money with ChaCha

Have you ever gone on a long internet binge, researching and surfing mindless things, and thought to yourself: I wish I could make some money surfing the internet and sharing the (sometimes useless) information I had just acquired? Well, now you can!

News: Squeaks when I

So you get Spike Jonze or anyone really from the cast to dress up as a woman (maybe Ehren McGhehey cause sometimes he acts like a little girl) Get them to go to a store, walk slowly to the return desk while having squeaking noises following them . have them place a box of open tampons on the desk and tell the cashier the tampons squeak when they walk , how am i to pick up when my Vagina is making noises . Have the cast member walk back and fourth see did you hear that, that's my vagina becaus...